VANITY

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  "I was going to have plastic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."  Rita Rudner

FEBRUARY IS:  International Boost Self-Esteem Month

I committed one of my own cardinal sins recently.  I went to the post office without a stitch of make-up on my face...not even lipstick!  And, did I mention I don't even have a tan?

When I was younger, I wouldn't leave my house to go on an errand, go to the mail box, or grab the newspaper from the driveway without make-up on my face, clean and styled hair, and a matching outfit.  Really, who knows who one will run into.

I thought this was normal...until I actually took a closer look at some of the women in the supermarket one early Sunday morning.  I was aghast at what I saw.  Did I really see a woman in dingy old sweats with slippers on her feet?  Or the woman who had pink rollers in her hair?  Or the woman who didn't even comb her hair before she left the house?  Yes.  I saw it all.

Now that I'm a bit...okay, a lot, older, I realize how vain I was.  And, back then, I actually thought that was a good thing.  The vanity, however, didn't stop at my appearance.  I had to have a really neat and very clean house...you never know who might drop by.  My car had to sparkle, too...who knows what friend might need a ride somewhere.

I also thought that being a nudist and being vain went hand-in-hand.  My legs had to be shaved, and I always wore eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick.  My nails had to be polished and neatly trimmed whenever I went to a nudist club.  Of course if I gained a few pounds, I stayed away until I was back to my normal weight.

My mother told me this was excessive.  I pooh-poohed her comments when she said, "The things that you find so important now like a perfectly clean house and made-up face won't matter as much when you're older."

Well, I am older now, and, in the end, we all know that mothers are usually right.    As mother warned me, I have eased up on some of my obsessions.  I don't scrub my floors every week, and there is some dust on the shelves.  My kitchen counters may be clean, but I usually have a few miscellaneous items out of place.  The bathroom is the exception.  It is always clean, but my hairbrush and toothpaste may be left on the counter.  But don't even ask about the cat and dog hairs that are on the floor, in the bed, and sometimes in the food.  I swore to myself I would always weigh under 115 pounds.  Ha!  That didn't happen.  But I do take care of myself, and I can live with the body I have now.

But, a few weeks ago I ran into a woman at a Clinique counter who lives in my community.  I walked up behind her, and said, "You're much too pretty to need any of this stuff."

She turned back to me, and said, "Honey.  I never leave the house without make-up on.  At the age of 82 I need all the help I can get."

Hmmm.  Now where did I stash my blush?

Copyright 2011
e-mail:  cyndyskitchen@cfl.rr.com